Tough-Luv

Tough-Luv
Originally uploaded by Anantya.

A young person in my life is going through changes, and some tough

times. And it's got me thinking...



I have this very special nephew who i love very much. He's now 14-15 or

so and really "testing" both his freedoms and limits as well as the

patience of those who love him so dearly and serve him daily.



He's at that crazy age where the exploration of his possibilities and

the testing his freedoms (the range elasticity of his relations and

rules) is now his driving fascination. This is that critical period in

a boy's (and girl's) development where the boundaries between healthy

curiosity (necessary experimentation) and dangerous fascination lie in

beguilingly close proximity.



How to support a young person at this stage in making the right choices

when the process of developing discrimination itself is almost always

one of surviving and then learning from mistakes? How to balance the

giving of enough room for a youngster to move, experience and reveal

their unique tendencies (strengths/weaknesses, attractions/aversions,

sensibilities/liabilities, etc.) without failing to, creatively and

clearly, surround their widening sphere of new freedoms with effective

limits?



So yes, as i was saying, I have this very special nephew who, while not

being my kid to actively co-parent, I love so much and want to wholly

positively influence to come through his adolescence empowered, not

burdened by reactivity and patterns of unhealthy rebelliousness (from

having concluded/constructed a personal survival strategy of mistrust

and unhealthy secrecy, self/other-destructivness, addictive and/or

antisocial behavior etc.).



How did we all make peace with the temptations or trappings of "sex,

drugs and rock-n-roll" ourselves. What is your "would've, could've,

should've" personal history about all that. Were you over-disciplined

or under by your parents and schools, culture and laws?



Any/all personal politics and "religious" morality aside, we all know

there are most serious physiological, psychological and emotional

developmental implications of all our kid's most basic choices/actions:

the company they keep and personas they try-on/test therein , the diet

they consume and any inebriates they may experiment with, the

sensitivity/skillfulness of their teachers and learning environment,

the cultural and (in the "west" therefore inherently) commercial

messages they are boraged by and submit to or resist, etc. When and

with whom an adolescent first experiences/explores their sexuality,

their states of mind/consciousness, their sense of

art/performance/creative expression, their spirituality, their polity,

their social/relations constructions, etc. is often a very strong

determiner of subsequent conclusions about reality (...self, other,

life) and therefore also, until later personal reflection (either of

their own free will or forced upon them, usually by some dysfunction,

negative symptom or breakdown) major factors aiming at least the

initial trajectory of their impending adulthood.



As we all know, the new saying is that "it takes a village to raise a

child". But what to do when "the village" is itself so confused and

lacking in concrete and conclusive evidence to justify its rules, a

healthy world that would give its/any demands and limit setting real

foundation and justification? Indulge the rebellious adolescent mind

for a moment and entertain:

Rule Test #1: "Don't have sex until....

-a) ...you are married." (Marriage: an "institution" or

cultural/religious convention so fraught with failure, dysfunction and

violence as to call into question the intentions of its advocates),

or....

-b) ...until you leave this (the family's) house." (which is to

communicate nothing more than the blatant or de-facto communication 'if

you are not going to duplicate/imatate/submit to and confirm MY

conclusions about how to manage/limit/control human sexuality,

pair-bonding, etc. then you will have to go away and/or do that in

secret." or the like).

-c) ...until you are (usually in conjunction with "b" above if not

honoring "a") in a committed relationship." (as if all such

Judeo-Christian based moralizing even showed up in any statistically

rigorous mental/emotional/psychological health research (or even

layman's observations) as proving its a requisite guideline.

Rule Test #2: "No taking of "drugs"...

-a) ...in this house." ( or in other words "i would rather have you go

to potentially dangerous places with potentially dangerous people to

ingest potentially dangerous/unknown substances....etc., than to do any

such thing here"), or...

-b) ....at your age" ( or the risking that the youth will see what may

appear to them as merely another typical and lazy adult

double-standard), or...

-c) ...as we define them". ( the irony is that statistically speaking

both the one speaking and the adolescent listening/weighing his/her

options are currently under the influence of some of the statistically

most deleterious substances so commonly available: refined white

sugars, nicotine, alcohol, caffine and any number of complicated new

and highly experimental popular pharmaceutical psychotropics like

antidepressants, anti-anxiety or anti-ADHD meds. Furthermore, into that

already deeply chemically compromised (and therefore of dubious

integrity) conversation (usually read "shouting match") add the more

deeper "political"/ or human rights irony that if the "drug" in

question happens to be a naturally growing plant of the Cannabis Sativa

family, the guardian presuming to lecture of its evils and prevent its

accessibility themselves now stand against decades or overwhelming

scientific evidence as to its non-toxicity and entire nations of

conservative legislation which are enjoying a humbling list of positive

feedback from its de-criminalization.).



What is a loving parent, guardian, relative, family friend,

teacher.....etc. to do?



Clearly so little is clear. And, therefore, open and deeply caring

sharings, research and mutual self-inspection are required.



The basis for any rules found necessary at this stage of raising the

adolescent must be fully available for mutual inspection as to the

rule's depth of reason as well as intuition, tradition as well as

legality, chemistry as well as cultural, personal as well as collective

moorings. If the young adult is not to be rebellious isn't the adult,

not wanting to merely play petty dictator (with all that is rightfully

insulting to developing intelligence and justifiable insighting of

further rebellion about that), also accountable to be completely

transparent in revealing their drives, reasoning, including even

misgivings and conditions justifying re-consideration?



Its easier to just make rules, or at least at first it may seem.



The lazy close their minds, end the conversation, risk making

uninformed, idealistic, reactive or merely fear-based rules and thereby

guarantee at best only postponement, if that, of these same issues to

the next generation and at worst incite division, suspicion, separation

and the failure of the kind of spirit of mutual respect and honoring of

difference that only rigorous and deeply empathetic intelligent loving

progressive consideration/investigation/conversation can engender.



But are the unconscious friends, or worse yet these preditor-dealers,

any better? Is there any proof that their noxious pandering, and

peer-pressure pushing (if not more innocent grass then more deadly

bath-tub poisons) is not 100x worse than merely over-protective

parenting? How to cultivate and maintain the kind of intimacy and

respect that would have our kids turning to us rather than to strangers

of dubious intent when making such important (and inevitable)

decisions?



When my nephew, in some attempt to bond with me his "cool" uncle,

started to talk about Marijuana I chose to tell him that while i

thought that its use could be of value to some people consumed

infrequently in a manner respectful of its effect and influence, my

sense was that it was not something that people in his age group should

be yet experimenting with. He asked why and a rich and valuable

discussion followed in which i felt i had effectively made a case for

abstinence based on age/maturity. Do i believe that such a conversation

is conclusive or could really form the basis for a decision on his part

not to experiment with, in the case of this discussion, grass? No. If i

were his legal guardian i would be drawing him into a much deeper

consideration, enrolling him into the limit-setting process and set of

conclusions i would work to reach together. And I feel relatively sure

that both his mother and his grandparents, his primary parentors/role

models, will do their best in that direction.



I have this nephew i love and wish i could spare him, as well as all

those around him, the chaos of his developmental years and the

necessary mistakes and wrong turns he will most likely have to take.

His own maturity, merely developing as it now is, will surly itself be

a pivotal factor in how much freedom he deserves to be entrusted with.

Yet another one of youth's frustrating/bewildering Catch-22's.



I have this nephew I love, we all love. May he make it through without

too much trouble, danger or over-stressing those that live for his

health, happiness and success.

Angkor('s) Away

Angkor('s) Away
Originally uploaded by Anantya.

We wandered the ancient ruins of Suryavarman II's temple matrix in
absolute wonder.


Thrilling to amble along its crumbling byzantine pathways, through the
hidden moldering galleries which encircle its five central towering
shrines.

The sturdy yawn and long patient stretch of nature's inevitable
upending of even our greatest architectural impositions has deeply
fractured, or irreparably penetrated and ensconced, every camber,
column and veranda in its leafy serpentine embrace.


Like a some 1000 acre effigy (an improbably lude elemental slow-dance;
20 meter jungle Banyans writhing upon and lifting 20 ton sandstone
walls), this celebration of impermanence teases as easily at all our
expectations of time and place as it does the incense laden splahes and shards of
bending and broken light. A shy jungle sunset meandering along side us; amber-brown here then as suddenly breaking through safron-honey-pink there.

This timeless place of incomparable artistic devotion, every surface
dripping with chiseled cosmic filigree, telling 10,000 stories yet
somehow, like a veiled dancer trailing her amber promises but always
disappearing just out of sight around every next bend, keeps all her secrets hers.

Now a steep stairway calls us to climb up to its shady terrace where a time-scorched Shiva Lingam shrine odalisques in decadent repose. Midway mounting that steep rise dividing the stairway now in two we encounter a massive orimental wall. In the center of this towering slab, this sculpted story of worship, was a moment of such subtle revelation for me.

Time and the elements had seen fit to leave for us, in clearest relief
there at the center of our gaze as we ascended, the hands of two
lovers. Her head tossed back in ecstatic delight as she places into the
palm of her beloved a......a, a, ........(what was it?, a piece offruit, a flower bud, a, a, ....SOMEthing or nothing if not agift).......insipiring his upturned gaze, fueling his devotion and gratitude.

Heart swells as tears well and bliss descends.

There it is: us, people, mankind, loving each other in poetic delicacy
around 1000 years ago. The "gift" ...whatever. The "other" ...whoever.
This play, this pull....timeless and relentless. Even still. And in
that moment, and in their passing, and the generosity of the artist that
enshrined such intimacy for us, and we so privileged to be
wandering and wondering herenow.....all of us and even everything in cosmic
nature at once captured, embraced, upended, evolving and trying always
to dare to love here, in the crazy epic swirl of it all.



We wandered the ancient ruins of the citizens Angkor and were, forever, changed.

Please?

Please?
Originally uploaded by Anantya.

PLEASE!

L'Dog!

L'Dog!
Originally uploaded by Anantya.

What is Lotus Dog?



Lotus Dog is a rock-tronic music project led by brother and sister

song-writing team TSO and Jolie. Closer to a community than a band,

Lotus Dog's debut release features more than two dozen guest musicians

and contributors, from Afghan tabla player / vocalist Tameem to Oakland

rappers The Conscious Daughters.



Combined with Jolie’s heart-felt vocals and TSO’s avant garde

production style, this rich assortment of musical elements results in

an unusual blend of rock, electronic, and hip-hop flavors. Lotus Dog

defies convention with hip-rock-tronic music that tells their story

with few rules, and few boundaries. Guitars, drums, electronic loops

and effects, and a myriad of exotic and orchestral instruments are

utilized - varying in mood from aggressive and driving to melancholy

and atmospheric.



But it’s the lyrics that most define the intent of Lotus Dog. “Each

song is a prayer,” says lead singer/songwriter Jolie. “We wanted to

look as deeply and earnestly as possible at the human experience

including our relationship to Creation itself.” Not inspirational or

spiritual music per se, Lotus Dog is more an experiment in the

reflection, integration, and transcendence of spiritual views.



Another important, if somewhat audacious goal of the Lotus Dog project

is to convey a depth of philosophical significance without compromising

quality and style. In other words, we want to create music that is both

deeply meaningful and fun at the same time. Music that takes

responsibility for contributing something of value to human

consciousness, without being self-righteous. The lotus symbolizes the

innate desire for wisdom and wholeness, while the dog symbolizes

playfulness, mischief, and unconditional love.



Taken as a whole, much of today's media is a chaos of fragmented

motives, beliefs, sensationalism, and cynicism, which seems only to

aggravate the compounding crises we face as a planetary civilization.

Given this dilemma, the age-old capacity of art to unify human beings

on a heart and soul level - above ideology and dogma - becomes vital.

Only attempts to contextualize the noise, rather than overpower it, can

ultimately spur the predominance of our better nature. This attempt is

the essence of Lotus Dog.



Thank you for listening!

desiHER

desiHER
Originally uploaded by Anantya.

T-8 Days....and counting!



They say how life appears to you is a function of what you are really

focused upon or called by.



Sifting through recent random photos to inspire my every next rant

here, i came across this one from a walk Dasha and I took with friends

through a magical Warsaw arboretum/statue garden.



It would not be fair to say that, when i not separated from my beloved

for so long, the Shakti is so possessive of my attention, but this

rather protracted period of (de-facto) Brahmacharya practice in her

absence has me now feeling Her everywhere!



Counting down...

- to tearing off these orange robes,

- trading them in for the human-silk of her fragrant embrace,

- dropping the cool control (& cold showers) of pranayama's conductivity

- for the fecund peach-purple cloak, the floral leafy glen,

...of my Cinnamon Girl's return



......10, 9, EIGHT, 7, 6.....



*sigh*

DarknesLIGHT

DarknesLIGHT
Originally uploaded by Anantya.

Heartlighting moon
calls


fluttering darkness
turns


dancing difference
melts


nightlinging maya
unmasks


darknessing brightness
comes


(...home).